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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24736378">Unspoken Words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthtogauva/pseuds/earthtogauva'>earthtogauva</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Flower Symbolism, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Timeskip, Unrequited Love, but lets project said feelings onto fav characters shall we, lets make it angsssttttyy, might have to do with the fact im hurting irl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:26:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24736378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthtogauva/pseuds/earthtogauva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a saying Akaashi remembered his grandmother saying, on how he will find his true love when he starts growing flowers. He never took too much care at her words, right until he first met Bokuto.</p>
<p>But it's far too late for him to start regretting his choices, isn't it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unspoken Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>IT'S BEEN 4-5 YEARS SINCE I WROTE FANFICTION AND I DECIDED WHAT BETTER WAY TO HOP BACK INTO THE POOL THAN TO DO ANGST AHA<br/>This started as a one-shot but i decided to make it chaptered wheee, i hope you guys enjoy it!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time he met him, his heart jumped to the moon and stayed with the stars. </p>
<p>     Akaashi will never forget the way his eyes shone, the warmth of his smile and his perky attitude latching themselves on his cold demeanour. Bokuto always had a way with words, making anyone around him feel at home. It explained his very large friend circle despite claiming he ‘doesn’t have any friends :(‘. </p>
<p>It would explain his long list of lovers.</p>
<p>     What was there not to like of Bokuto? He was sweet, a little bit (read: a LOT) clumsy which was very charming, determined, and not to mention his endless support and care towards everyone he’s close with. Bokuto always found a way to make someone feel at ease, he’d never make you feel out of place. Anyone who was anyone would fall head over heels for the infamous Bokuto Koutarou, literal sunshine of Fukurodani Academy.</p>
<p>     It didn’t bother Akaashi that much, he had his fair share of lovers so he’s not in place to criticize his senior. But every time Akaashi dated, a little voice at the back of his head would always chime a saying his grandmother once said, years ago when Akaashi was way too young to learn about love:</p>
<p>
  <em>You’ll know it’s your soulmate when flowers start blooming, Keiji.</em>
</p>
<p>     Akaashi never paid attention when she first mentioned it, but it always nagged at the back of his head, like a church bell. What did she ever mean by flowers blooming? Akaashi never liked gardening, his mother did all of that. Maybe she meant that he’d buy flowers for his lover if they were the one.</p>
<p>Realization hit him like a truck when he first started vomiting petals.</p>
<p>     It was just after his first-ever time at Nationals. Fukurodani lost in the semi-finals, yet everyone was in high spirits. The third years were congratulating their teammates, giving everyone hugs and promising to hold a huge party when they get back. Akaashi was comforting his seniors, promising to bring the big win home at every chance they get in the future. Although he was just as upset, he was incredibly proud of his team for coming this far. </p>
<p><em>     Makes sense why we’re a powerhouse school, </em>he thought to himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bokuto making his way outside of the court. Akaashi couldn’t see his expression but he had a gut feeling something was up, so he decided to follow him to make sure he’s okay. Trying to catch up to Bokuto’s fast pace, he saw he was talking something to his friend, but he mumbled too much for him to hear. Konoha placed a hand on his shoulder and said something about how they gave their best but Bokuto shrugged his hand off and made his way to the bathroom. Konoha was about to go in when Akaashi was already pushing the door open.</p>
<p>     Bokuto’s knuckles were white from gripping the sink, the sound of gushing water from the tap filling up the silence of the bathroom. Akaashi made his way to Bokuto’s side, hand placed gently on his back. “Bokuto-san, you were great out there. I know you probably heard this before but I’ve never been more amazed at your spikes.”</p>
<p>     No response. Akaashi opened his mouth to urge Bokuto to wash his face and walk with him back to their teammates when the latter turned around and clasped Akaashi’s smaller hands in his larger, rougher ones. The fluorescent light above their heads seemed to make Bokuto’s golden, mesmerizing eyes shine brighter than it ever did in Akaashi’s months of knowing his teammate. Time, on the other hand, seemed to have stopped. Akaashi was suddenly aware of how his eyes were almost bulging out his sockets, staring at Bokuto’s warm hands wrapped against his colder ones, how fast his heart was beating against his ribcage, wanting to desperately jump out of his throat. The sound of the tap water gushing became a lulling buzzing in the background, bringing his attention to the way Bokuto’s lips curled into the biggest grin yet, how his chest slowly rises and falls in a soft rhythm. For a quick moment, Akaashi couldn’t remember where he was until Bokuto started speaking.</p>
<p>     "Akaashi, I know my spikes were good but it could be <em>better</em>, and I know you can help me!”</p>
<p>     Akaashi blinked, his senses coming back. “Wh-what do you mean?”</p>
<p>     Bokuto pulled their hands closer to his own chest, smile never leaving his face. “Your setting, they were built for me! With you and me at each other’s side, we’d be unstoppable! The Ace Duo!” he proclaims, and Akaashi felt his face heat up. He offered a small smile for Bokuto’s expense.</p>
<p>     “That is indeed a great idea, but I think you and I both know there’s only room for one ace on our team, and it’s you. So why don’t we head back to the team? They must be worried about us.” As Bokuto let his hands go, Akaashi found himself wanting to retain the warmth and coarseness of his hands on his a bit longer. He chided himself, and after making sure the tap was shut, both boys made their way to the gym. Even when his coach scolded them for taking their time in the bathroom, Akaashi’s mind wandered to the minute of hand grasping, finding himself wanting more of that burst of bliss he felt. Could it be that Bokuto was his missing piece, both romantically and in the world of volleyball? His mind pondered over the warmth and tingly sensation his heart gave on the bus ride back to school, a soft smile never leaving his lips. Maybe, just maybe, Akaashi had found his contentment, even though that contentment was a towering loud-mouthed owl who is too predictable for his own wellbeing.</p>
<p>     Of course, the Universe would never be kind to anxiety-ridden Akaashi. When the bus reached school and everyone made their way to the gym for a meeting, a girl in a ponytail raced past Akaashi and into Bokuto’s arms, giving him a bear hug. She started to rub her palms over his cheek mumbling something how she’s so proud of his efforts. Akaashi watched motionless as Bokuto swung her around and blowing raspberries into her cheek, their laughs filling the crisp air. The girl’s arms hung around his neck, peppering his face with kisses. Bokuto’s friends start making fun of the couple, trying to tear away the duo so they can make it to the gym in time for the meeting before Coach Yamiji chews them out. </p>
<p>And all Akaashi Keiji could do was stare.</p>
<p>     Sarukui had to pat his back for Akaashi to realize he'd been staring and quickly apologized, gathering his bag and quickly making his way to the gym. He forgot about Bokuto’s girlfriend, and he doesn’t care how affectionate they are. That was really up to how comfortable they are with public display of affection. Akaashi was happy for them, right?</p>
<p>So why did his chest hurt so much?</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Maybe he ate something bad, maybe the consecutive bowls of ramen and meat weren’t meant for his petite appetite. Akaashi really shouldn’t have taken up his senior’s persistent offers on the ramen, he knew it would end badly.</p>
<p>     His stomach started churning again and after shifting uncomfortably in his bed for what felt like 2 hours, he tore off his blanket and went straight to the toilet, forcing his finger into his throat to get everything out. Akaashi kept coughing, his stomach and lungs contracting trying to clear themselves.</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Wait, why is it so hard to breathe?</em>
</p>
<p>     The lurching stopped when the contents from dinner came out with bright yellow petals, mixing disgustingly in the toilet bowl. Akaashi’s disgust turned into aghast when he noticed the flowers. He’s very sure he didn’t eat any decorative flowers with the ramen, so where did it come from?</p>
<p>     His chest heaved from another heavy cough and more petals started falling, laced with his saliva and other unsavoury items. Akaashi stared at the petals, trying to think of a logical way to describe why he would be vomiting petals at 2 in the morning. He wiped his spit, flushed his toilet, and shakily made his way back to his bed, grabbing his phone. Squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light of his phone, he opened the search engine and typed in ‘what happens when you start vomiting petals’. His eyes immediately highlight <em>hanahaki disease</em>, and he clicks on the first search result</p>
<p>            <strong>Hanahaki: A Study by Dr. T. Esco Jameson</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akaashi blinked, before translating the page into Japanese and scrolling past the author’s credentials to read his findings.</p>
<p>         <em>Hanahahaki, derived from the Japanese words hana (</em>花) <em>which means flower and hakimasu (</em>吐きます<em>) which means to throw up, is a disease in which one starts vomiting flowers due to unrequited love.</em></p>
<p><em>     Unrequited love? </em>Akaashi’s lips pursed when he remembered how loving Bokuto was with his girlfriend. He shook his head and continued reading.</p>
<p>
  
  <em>The Hanahaki Disease was considered to be fictional until proven when the first documented case of a Miss Mitsuba Hoshi was admitted to the hospital due to her illness in 1989. Ever since then, the disease has had intensive research on its origins, effects, and how to overcome it medically. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>           The origin of the disease has not been identified, but it is very rare; only 0.3% of people have it, out of which 0.1% is a dominant trait. The disease is relatively dormant when a person is happily in love or has their love recuperated. However, when the person is ‘pining’ for their one true love, or has been in love with a person for a long time with no action taken, the trait starts activating.</em>
</p>
<p>     Akaashi’s body started violently shaking with his coughs, a few more petals exiting his throat and onto his hand. The bright yellow seemed to be staring back at him, and he threw their salivated selves into a trashcan.</p>
<p>
  <em>          It starts with seeds that have been planted start sprouting over a few weeks. The seeds will have roots by the 4th week and will start to entangle themselves over the lungs. Flowers- each person will have different flowers, each having their own hidden meaning- will start to sprout inside their lungs. It often develops over months or even years, beginning with coughing up a few petals and growing in intensity (and pain) until the person is vomiting entire flowers, by which point the disease has entered its final stages. </em>
</p>
<p><em>         There are many ways the disease can take over a person’s life.</em> <em>The happy ending is when the object of the person’s love returns their affections, thus making the love no longer unrequited. The person is then cured of the disease. This may happen spontaneously when the object of affections realizes their love, or the disease may require the object to persuade the person that their love is mutual. If the person cannot believe that their beloved returns their love, the person suffering will die.</em></p>
<p>
  
  <em>The most common version is when the person’s lungs get filled with the flowers and roots grow in their respiratory system. They choke on their blood and petals and die. However, there is a way to avoid this from happening should their feelings get rejected. T</em>
  <em>his version is when the flowers are surgically removed, as are the person’s feelings of love, meaning they can no longer love the person they once loved. Sometimes this also removes their memories of the former beloved, or the person’s ability to ever love again. Often, the one suffering the disease will refuse the surgery, preferring to die rather than losing their feelings.</em>
</p>
<p>     Akaashi stared at the last paragraph, reading it over and over. He didn’t know what to feel. He just had simple feelings for Bokuto, as someone he admired. He doesn’t love him, he only admires him, that’s all.</p>
<p>     The petals in his trashcan seemed to be saying otherwise. Akaashi picked one up and stared at it long and hard. The yellow stared back, as if challenging him to figure out more. The study said each person had different flowers with different meanings behind it, but exactly what kind of flower is growing in him? He’s smart enough to realize searching yellow flowers won’t give him an exact answer. </p>
<p>     It’s kinda funny, how the petals seemed as bright as Bokuto. At least he can hold these close to him. Akaashi stared at his phone, reading the study and its provided FAQs over and over, trying to pry out whatever information he can get. He opened tab after tab on everything about hanahaki until he realized it was already 4 a.m. Yawning, he charged his phone and tried to get himself to sleep. His throat was itchy from all the coughing, but his bed was warm enough to lull him back asleep. Maybe in the morning he’d have a better sense of reasoning to deal with this.</p>
<p>And then it clicked.</p>
<p>     Ripping his blanket off himself for the second time that morning, he grabbed his phone and opened his text messages, scrolling until he found the person in interest.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>TO: Nana</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good morning, Nana. It’s me, Keiji. Do you happen to know if our family has a history of any disease with flowers?</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>!!! Do leave kudos + comments if you guys liked it!! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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